Yes, solutions exist whether you are anadult or child - - and there are many HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)….
What is important first?
I would say to integrate as an adult HPS and parent of a child HPS the very characteristics of the HSP, to say that they are part of their daily life and to live with it, is already a big step.
For parents , put themselves in their child's shoes, open up to them, put yourselves in their world, to better understand them, to listen to them equals learn to observe them.
For adults with HSP , take a step back and understand your own characteristics in order to adapt them, take them into account in your daily life equals learn to observe yourself.
Observe yourself, awake your awareness.
Be mindful of yourself. Is happiness the necessary counterpart to the drama? Is unhappiness necessarily essential to the appreciation of life’s pleasures? Try not to expect too much, not to wait too long to just enjoy the present moment.
Let go of your mental ruminations. Mental reflections make the mind talkative and unaware of the moving life in us. Being caught up in too many thoughts can distract you from your feelings. Learn to let go from time to time of the continuous flow of thoughts, just to become aware of yourself.
The better we accept the specificity of our child, your specificity, the better the child will feel, the better you will feel.
How to help each other, to help children?
- Avoid crowed places: parties, shopping streets, schoolyards, shopping centres = find the right mix. In situations rich in stimuli, it takes a lot of energy for HSP to process all the information. If these situations last too long, there will need to decompress. Find times to withdraw from outside world, with headphones for instance.
- Have time to then take action: hypersensitive people receive a lot of information, which they process quickly but in depth, and they need more time to complete tasks. On a study conducted by Hélène Van Hoof, this is what has been proven: "then, they make far fewer errors than the average". In a way, they border on the wait-and-see attitude, observe first before taking action.
- Learn to take good care of oneself: as the hypersensitive are extremely turned towards the others, they do not often take care of themselves.
For HSP children (but for adults too), it is by climbing that we know our limits and that after the action, we know how to recharge our batteries, we teach them how to help their body to regain calm. A structured life also helps with clear routines, it is creating order and helping them to anticipate.
- Learn to manage emotions: children with HSP can put themselves in strong emotional states due to excess stimuli and because their stress management system works differently. They have higher scores. When they react emotionally, Elke van Hoof advises to let them breathe (exhale). HSP kids say they can feel it coming.
Punishment is hard to accept for the justice-hungry HSP. HSPs are sensitive to moods and the atmosphere. Thus, they quickly sense how someone is feeling and through their empathy, they can absorb that mood.
- Consider its hypersensitivity as a wealth: people who consider their hypersensitivity as a talent have more resilience. There are many advantages to processing information in depth, making associations easier, having an eye for detail, and being more creative, more empathetic. They appreciate things more intensely, can devote themselves fully to an activity.
Be aware of the impact of its words: hypersensitive children make remarks that are not their age or ask deep questions. It is therefore necessary to take this into account during conversations with them. Everything is perceived violently in HSPs: loud sounds, bright light but also the criticisms and remarks that can be made to them. They may have a tendency to blame everything on themselves.
For parents of hypersensitive children, it's good to be parsimonious with remarks and they should be expressed without anger.
Out of all of these recognized characteristics, managing emotions is an essential point that I will discuss in a future blog post.
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